Liar, Liar
by Steffi's.Fiction
Summary: Logan is tired of his unstable relationship with Kendall, and after finding out Kendall has been lying the whole time, he finally decides to do something about it. Kogan/Kenjo, Jagan and Cargan friendship. T for mature themes nothing too explicit .


**Kogan angst. No idea where this is coming from.**

I can hear Kendall snore softly, his head resting on mine. My cheek is pressed into his chest, and I listen to his breathing as my face rises and falls at the same pace. I wish I was asleep as well, but I can't bring myself to do it. I feel as though if I fall asleep, I'll wake up and he'll be gone.

And truthfully, he probably would be.

He's worried about James or Carlos or his mom or Katie seeing us. He refuses to come out, no matter how many times I tell him everyone will accept him. None of our friends will care. They won't. They love us both too much other that. It's a fact, I'm certain. But he won't do it. He's even dating Jo as a cover up.

There are some moments where I feel like he's actually falling for her. That he loves her more. And I have reason to; whenever he's around her, it's like I don't exist, no matter who we're around or what we're doing. It stings to think that maybe I'm just someone he's using to get off. I don't want to think I am, I want to believe I'm worth more to him than that, but I can't help but wonder sometimes.

Sometimes I think he'll leave me for her just because being with her is easy. He doesn't have to lie about her. Nobody will hate him for being with her. People will compliment them and tell them what a beautiful couple they make. He can get married to her in any state. She can give him children; give his mom grandchildren.

Sometimes it's the little things, like how he'll choose Carlos or James over me, or encourage me to date Camille 'as a cover up'. He'll cancel our dates. Refuses to have sex unless there is nobody in the house, and if someone comes home, I have to finish myself in the bathroom. Won't share a bed with me unless we lock the door. Or he kisses Jo in front of me, and I really hate that.

He promises me things so that I won't leave, won't doubt him. That he'll come out to our family at least eventually. We'll be together forever, even if we have haters after coming out. That he isn't in love with Jo, never has been, never will been, and he definitely hasn't slept with her. That he'll never have sex with her because he loves me and only me. And I have no choice but to believe him.

I finally fall asleep, and when I wake up, sure enough he's gone. I sigh inwardly, too used to it to let anyone (even the empty room) see it. I shower and get dressed, not even bothering to fix my hair. When I step out of my bedroom, I see James watching television on the couch, and nobody else.

"Where is everybody, James?" I ask him. He turns to me and thinks.

"Mama Knight and Katie went to another audition. Carlos is down by the pool trying to win the Jennifers over, and Kendall went to see Jo."

I try not to make my distress about the last part obvious, so I just smile, thank him, and exit the apartment, lamely saying that I'm going to the pool. He smiles back and nods before turning back to the television.

I start walking in the opposite direction of the pool and actually ended up on Jo's floor. I walk to her apartment door and go silent, listening to see if they are in there.

I did not expect to hear the familiar squeak that her couch makes when you lean too far to the left. I did not expect to hear her moaning out his name, demanding he go harder. I did not expect him to groan in response to her request. I did not expect her to tell him she loved him in a breathless voice. I did not expect to hear him say it back.

I feel the tears falling down my face before I really have time to process what's happening. I hear him make that noise he always lets out when he climaxes, along with her annoying little squeal, and I abruptly turn and stalk away back to 2J.

James gives me this surprised sort of look when I burst into the room. The tears were over quicker than expected, because really and truly, I've been waiting for this. I draw in a little breath before looking at James again.

"I want to switch rooms." I say bluntly. James looks at me oddly.

"Why? Kendall and you are, like, best friends." He asks me. I sigh.

"Things change. Please James?" I ask desperately, trying to copy the puppy eyes Kendall so often used on me when I was close to breaking up with him. I know if he uses them tonight, they won't work.

James sighs but shrugs. "Sure I guess. I'll text Carlos and check if he's cool with it."

Carlos is cool with it of course, and soon he's joining James and I as Carlos and I move our things. By lunchtime, all of my stuff is in with James's and Kendall is now rooming with Carlos. Carlos and James press me to tell them why I wanted to change rooms, but I explain that I can't tell them unless Kendall is okay with it. That leaves them more confused than before, but they don't question me anymore.

Kendall finally comes home for dinner. I refuse to look at him, and I'm unsure of whether or not he notices. At dinner, I sit next to James and Carlos makes a point of sitting across from me so he can't. I cop a glance at Kendall to check if he's noticed, and I can tell he has. If there is one thing he never fails to do, it's sit beside me at dinner. He looks hurt that I chose to sit next to James and not even have him sit across from me at least. But I can't bring myself to feel sorry; how many times had I felt like that during our relationship? Too many to probably be considered healthy.

When dinner is over, we all agree to watch a movie. All three of them want to watch a horror movie, so I sigh and nod. Just like at dinner, I sit beside James, and Carlos defensively jumps to the other side of me. I think he's under the impression that Kendall has really hurt me. Which is good, because he's right. Kendall looks very offended that didn't save a spot beside me, especially since he knows for a fact I hate scary movies and will be looking for a place to bury my face.

As it turns out, Carlos was fine letting me cringe into his side at all the scary bits. James patted my back whenever I whimpered, and I could practically feel Kendall burning holes into me as I accepted all the attention from people who were not him.

It's eleven when we all finally decide to go to bed. I'm actually a little nervous about how he's going to react when I he finds out Carlos and I switched rooms.

The moment I start entering the room in behind James, I hear Kendall's voice.

"Logie, where are you going?" I stiffen slightly, and James notices.

"To his bedroom." James snaps at him. His tone riles up Kendall a little bit, and suddenly he's in my face.

"Hey Logan, can we talk? You know, alone?" he asks, though the way he says it comes out more like a command than a question. I nod, trying to hide the fear in my eyes (and probably failing) as I turn to go back downstairs. Kendall stomps ahead of me and I follow him out of 2J, out of the Palm Woods, and into the park before he rounds on me. Of course he'd want to be as far from any listeners as possible.

"What the hell is going on with you?" he demands, his tone making me flinch. "You sit with James at dinner, let Carlos comfort you during the movie, and you switched rooms while I was gone? What's your deal?"

"You! You're a lying prick and I don't want to talk to you or see you ever again!" I scream at him. He seems taken aback, and his face is scrunched with confusion. I scoff. "Don't give me that look. You know exactly what you did, and so do I. I heard you in Jo's room today." His eyes widen, and now he's nervous.

"How long have you been sleeping with her, Kendall? A month? Two? Since you two started 'fake dating'? When did you exchange 'I love you's? Probably long before I got one, right?" I'm getting closer to him, and he's backing away. He looks absolutely dumbstruck, like I'd never figure out what he was doing behind my back. "Don't look so shocked. I'm the smart one, remember? Then again, I dated you and believed all of your bullshit. Maybe I'm not as smart as I thought." I glare daggers, and I can see him crumbling. "At least two of my friends care about me."

"I care about you, Logie!" he exclaims suddenly. "I care about you so much it hurts! I don't know what happened with Jo today, but I don't really love her. I only love _you_."

I stare at him, trying to read him. His body language is pleading, begging me to forgive him. I look at the green orbs of his face, and on the surface, all I see his regret and more begging. But I see through it. I see how part of him isn't sorry, not at all. That part wants to go find Jo and do it again. That part is going to make me keep second-guessing him and continue to hurt me.

"No." I say finally. "You don't." And I turn with tears in my eyes back towards the Palm Woods, leaving the regretful Kendall alone in the dark.

Seeing his eyes like that, at least I can be confident that there was, maybe still is, a part of him that wants me and loves me. The other part, the one that wants Jo, is the problem. I don't trust that part at all anymore, and I'm unsure of which part is bigger. I don't even think Kendall knows.

And until he figures it out, I refuse to play his games anymore.

**Might add a second chapter if enough people want it.**


End file.
